Childhood Wisdoms...

Edith P. Guild was my Scottish great-grandmother. There weren’t many friends of mine who still had their grandparents around let alone great-grandparents. Great Grammy, as I knew her, was somewhat of a mystery, a novelty, and a curiosity to me at the same time.

This was a woman born before the turn of the century. In my young mind anything before 1977 was a long, long time ago. She had traveled with her sister on steamer ships like the Titanic. She lived in a small apartment in an old folks home furnished with all sorts of ornate exotic furniture. In particular, I enjoyed a small cast-metal sculpture of a cat that looked soft enough to pet, but felt cold and smooth to the touch. Great Grammy always had butterscotch in a covered candy dish and shortbread cookies filling a glass jar on her small kitchen counter. Visiting her was like traveling to a far off world.

At Christmas time, Great Grammy and I were always parked next to each other. The youngest and the oldest seated side by side in their isolation from the rest of the table. We might as well have been at the “kiddie” table, for we were rarely spoken to. Early on I became aware of the inconsistency of the “adults” actions. While I was taught to respect my elders, I was clearly the only one paying any attention to Great Grammy and she to me. Through the long family dinners with multiple “important” conversations occurring, the most valuable discussions were heard if one took the time to listen to our exchanged whispers.

Perhaps because no one listened very well to Great Grammy anymore, she had a penchant for giving advice. It was hard tune in to what she had to say. She moved slower, talked slower, heard less, walked hesitatingly, and she shrank every year by about two inches. In order to communicate you had to slow down your hectic life’s pace, breathe, and listen, really listen.

Each visit I had with her led to a new insight and a rule that I must follow obediently. Lessons usually came in the form of admonitions to treat my mother and grandmother with more respect. I was able to see irony in the fact that Great Grammy was telling me to treat these women with the respect that I seldom saw them give her. The lesson I remember most vividly was also about respect, but it was more self-centered rather than other centered. She shared this simple almost prophetically wise idea with me.

“Never ever let a man treat you anything less than a queen.”

Where this came from in her wealth of experience I’ll never know, but it has come in handy more times than I can count. It’s funny how some things stick with you while others fade. Hearing these words as a twelve year old, I had no clue what they would mean to me in my twenties. Perhaps they stuck out because the subject matter was slightly different than her usual fare. It’s possible that I just thought it odd that a ninety year old woman would give love advice to a twelve year old. No matter the reason it stuck. Years later, ...I could hear her whispering those words of wisdom in my ears.